Is Chivalry Dead?

My Favorite Romance Movies, with Trailers

My Favorite Romance Movies:
1. The Notebook


2. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days


3. 27 Dresses


4. Titanic


5. 10 Things I Hate About You


6. A Walk to Remember


7. Love and Other Drugs


8. Ghost of a Girlfriend's Past


9. The Proposal


10. P.S. I Love You

Define #agoodboyfriend

My Latest Storify Story- I love it! I used the hashtag #agoodboyfriend to see how people on Twitter define "A Good Boyfriend." These definitions/qualities/actions seem pretty accurate to me!

My Pitch- Being in a Relationship

What is the difference between a successful relationship and a mediocre one?

Is it attentiveness, passion, trust, exceptional commitment?

Why be in a relationship at all?

I can tell you what I think.

I think at times my relationship can be extremely successful and at times I can feel mediocre. Being in a two year relationship can definitely be a roller coaster ride. At times I am on cloud 9; the happiest, most excited and in-love woman in the world. And at other times, I am crying on my couch wishing something would give.

            This is the way it works. There are ups and downs, highs and lows. But overall, my relationship is one of the best things to ever happen to me. I feel nothing compares to the security of a phone call when I need to tell someone about my day, having someone to turn to after the death of my dog, a failed exam- whatever it is. I have that safety cushion to land on every time- a dedicated, attentive, kind boyfriend.

            I guess this would be my pitch for having a significant other in college. Although there is definitely something to be said for being worry-free, no strings attached- going out and meeting new members of the opposite sex, flirting, and so forth, I find that nothing compares to having a kind of rock in your life that is your relationship. Someone to keep you from never feeling lonely and lost. Filling that place that no best friend, parent, or fling can fill. 

Abusive Relationship, Story

This is a one-page story I wrote in which I tried to portray the reality of an abusive relationship.

He Always Says

The flowered comforter she bought for college is stained with tears; she can’t believe this is happening again. He yells every time she wears fitted v-neck sweaters, jeans that hug her waist and legs.  She prays no one will take a picture when she wears them; he is more insecure than usual ever since she left for college. That late August afternoon she had her bags packed, she was ready to leave for the start of her freshman year. As she pulled away in her mother’s loaded minivan, she looked back. Tears were running down his cheeks, barely visible from the image in the rearview mirror. She knew she wasn’t strong enough to be without him. Even hundreds of miles away, he would still affect her every decision. She looked back again. She always looked back.

“You’re better than that. Stop being crazy,” he says.

She finds that over time, his rampages change. In the beginning, each time he lashed out over a glance at an old friend, a new phone number added to her contacts list, she was devastated. She felt run down, by a truck going forward, then reversing back for more impact on the second hit. Forward, then reverse. Again and again. Over the past two years, the hurting has changed. It has morphed into a dull pain; it feels as if she took one initial hit to the side, and each scream thereafter has been a punch to the bruise it left.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I don’t trust anyone else,” he says.

This time is different. Her shaking fingers press against the skin of her folded legs, and she leans back against the cold dorm wall. This is it. The constant torment is beginning to tire her; the concerned looks from her roommate across the dorm each night before she goes to bed are exhausting. Hiding her tears, covering her swollen eyes, has become an unending burden.

She breathes deeply in and out, focuses on her family sitting around the new oak dinner table at home, 500 miles away. She can’t imagine the look on their faces if she told them that the boyfriend they had grown to love is so comfortable with reprimanding her, putting her down in his sarcastic, sadistic way.

“You used to be so different and now you’re just like everyone else,” he says.

She knows this isn’t the kind of relationship she has ever wanted. But it’s the one she has. How can she leave something she has put so much energy into? And what if he decides that he will change. If he says for the millionth time that he is going to be different, that all of that yelling was wrong and that he got too caught up in the moment, she should keep him around. He always ends up coming around. But she isn’t sure she wants to wait around for him this time. Does she?

He asks for a second chance. He always asks for a second chance. And this time she isn’t ready to give it. Not yet. When she tells him that it’s over- that she cannot be his girlfriend anymore- he hangs up the phone. She calls him back every minute for the rest of the night. What if she was wrong? What if he was right, that she would never find anyone else? He never picks up. She can never win. He’ll take her back; and she’s lost again.

“We deserve each other,” he always says.

Defining Yourself in a Relationship and by a Relationship

If you do not define your relationship, it will define you. And you cannot, under any circumstance, let that happen in a high school or college relationship.  

You cannot fully let the person you are with define the person you are during the period you are with them. You must stay true to yourself as a person and your own values. Even when in a relationship, you are still your own person.  

For example, when my friend was in school she dated someone who wanted to control her life. He would look through all of her messages, refuse to let her get phone numbers from new friends, get mad when she spoke with her family. He would not let her go out with her friends without him being there. She let him and their relationship set all boundaries for her. 

When they broke up, she had extremely limited people to call. She had missed out on opportunities to meet new people, and she had drifted from her family. Her friends felt they barely knew her anymore, and she had nobody to turn to. She did not know who she was, because she was defined by the very relationship that no longer existed. 

Keep yourself in check while in a relationship. If it helps, set boundaries for yourself that you will not break. Make sure your voice is heard and you are not restricted by your significant other. Although a relationship involves a lot of give and take, you should not have to sacrifice staples in your life to make your significant other happy. 

Listening and Remembering

This is extremely hard for couples, even though it seems that listening and remembering are primitive, easy things to do for the person you love. However, it can be easy to forget and not listen 100 percent, especially in today's society, where multitasking is as common the technology we use to do it.

For example, when my boyfriend told me last week that he was doing community service at a local school, I was really proud of him and excited. However, when he was telling me that on the phone I was finishing the last problem of my homework, mentally checking it off my to-do list, and packing my bag for class. At the end of the day, I forgot to ask him how his service event went. He isn't the kind of person to just bring it up to me. He wanted me to remember, and I didn't until the next week.

Although it seems like this is not a huge deal, when it becomes a habit it is. It also means a lot to someone when you show them that you are truly listening and care about what they are saying. To do that, it's important to actively listen. Take the time to put everything else aside and focus on what your partner is saying. Make a note of what they are doing so that you remember to ask him/her about it.

This is just another one of those little things you can do to improve your relationship and make your partner feel appreciated and cared about.