Dating Websites

My uncle and I were talking about dating websites such as match.com at Christmas last year. My uncle is in his 30’s and newly single, and his love life has not been the center of his concerns. He is starting a career in Real Estate, and in today’s economy it is extremely difficult for him and has proved insanely time-consuming. Many of his friends are married, and not going to bars looking to find women anymore. He has been unsure of where to find someone and has decided to try using an Internet dating site such as match.com in hopes to find a spark with someone.

You may be surprised to know that 1 in 5 relationships start online, according to match.com. Dating websites are a world of their own. There are articles written about what type of profile picture on a dating website attracts the most men/women, etc. Dating websites have become a huge part of dating today, especially with the mid 30’s crowd.

You may be interested also to hear that one of my family friends got divorced. Once her two children got older, she became lonely and decided to make a profile on match.com. Two years and many dates later she married a man who sent her a message on match.com about going out for a date. You never know what can happen.

If you think about it, these sites should save people time. Instead of weeding out people who won’t click with you over a span of dates and experiences, a dating website can attempt to take someone not compatible with you out of the picture for you. Plus, every person on these websites is looking for someone- they all have that in common. 

My Top Three Cosmo Dating Articles of the Season

1. This article will tell you why relationships can “ice over” in the winter, and what you can do to avoid your relationship deteriorating in the months it can be hardest to make it through. Winter is the hardest season for relationships- find out why.

2. This article should help you get over an ex. It can be really hard nowadays dealing with the obstacle of technology after a break up. It is hard to know what to do with technology and how to act through your computer screen and on social networking sites.

3. This article will tell you about love habits that will make your relationship stronger, specifically that if you give your boyfriend/girlfriend encouragement after his/her accomplishments, your relationship will be stronger. 

Happy reading!

Role of Technology in Relationships

Role of Technology in Relationships- 21^st century

Today it is hard to define the role technology should play in a relationship. There are lawsuits over a spouse looking through his/her partner’s emails, Facebook messages, text messages, etc. There are so many new and different ways to break your partner’s trust.  When it comes down to it, your partner may invade your technology-privacy because they don’t trust you, but it may just be because they are curious.

Here are some tips for managing technology in a relationship.

1.     Try not to keep it a world of your own. Share. Technological devices can make you feel like you’re in a different world. You can get so caught up in them, it’s easy to forget what’s going on around you. If your partner sees you on Facebook all the time, or using twitter constantly, or texting away, they may just be curious as to what is going on in your own private world. I can definitely understand that you may want to have a place separate from your partner, but that does not mean you should keep everything about it from them. Share some information and let them into it a little bit so they don’t feel left out. Show them you’re site if they can’t see it. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should give them your password if you’re not comfortable with that though.

2.     Don’t make your partner feel like you have something to hide. Your partner will feel like you’re keeping something from him/her, and try to snoop on you. This will in turn break the trust you have established. For example, if your partner picks up your phone to give it to you, don’t freak out for them to put it down, and don’t be nervous that they’re touching you’re stuff. It’s not a bad thing to leave your site open every once in a while, and let your partner come across it.

3.     Don’t have your phone out all the time; don’t hide behind the computer screen. When with your date or partner, put your phone to the side. Be old-fashioned and forget you have all this technology for awhile. Although cell phones, IM, vidchat, etc, can enhance a relationship by providing constant contact, it can be detrimental when you’re together and still using the technology to contact other people. Put your phone to the side, shut the computer screen, and pay attention to your date! They will feel ignored and neglected, and may take our his/her phone in response. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

4.     Face-to-face is the best way to solve problems and have important conversations. In my opinion, fights should happen in person as much as they can. It is easy to say something you don’t mean or go over the top on the computer or through texting. A lot also gets lost in the translation in technology. Things are taken the wrong way, and misunderstandings cause arguments. If there is a misunderstanding, call your partner to clear the air! If possible, go see them! It will turn into a lot more of a personal interaction. Same goes for important conversations that can define a relationship. Wait until you can see your partner in person. The extra effort will go a long way.

5.     Don’t snoop through your partner’s stuff. Be respectful of your partner’s privacy. If you want to look through his phone because you are curious about who he is talking to, just ask him kindly who he’s talking to. Snooping will only get you in trouble and trust issues will arrive. If you really don’t plan on doing anything wrong, then just talk to your partner about it instead of taking things into your own hands. There is no reason to look into your partner’s business instead of just asking them. Honesty is key. If you feel that they are cheating on you via texts/facebook/etc, speak with them honestly and openly about it. Don’t make accusations- just talk to them about how he/she is making you feel.

The main key to handling technology is open, honest communication. The role of technology will be different in every relationship. As long as your partner does not feel left out /skeptical in relation to your technological ventures or ignored by your use of technology, technology will not affect your relationship in a bad way.
Good luck!

Best Spots for a First Date

1. Movies- This is a good spot for a first date because the movies is relatively inexpensive, very accessible, and does not requite much conversation. If the date is a flop, you won’t be tortured trying to provide talking points. However, if it goes really well it would be easy to stop somewhere to eat to have a real conversation after. Also, after the movie is over it will provide a great talking point. There are many things about a movie to provide a full conversation for the ride home if necessary!
2. Restaurants- Restaurants are a good call because they can provide a romantic atmosphere. Don’t try to impress your date too much on the first time out. Go somewhere that people universally like. For example, a diner would be a good choice because most people can find something they like at a diner. A steakhouse probably wouldn’t be a great idea if you’re not sure about your date’s eating habits. A TGI Fridays type place is a good idea too. Any local, low-key restaurant would work perfectly! Definitely ask your date if that restaurant works with them first. Don’t assume. Make sure they feel like they have a say in where you are going.
3. Sports game- Sports games are a great first date if you agree on the team or are neutral toward the team. Although getting tickets can be expensive, it can also be cheap depending on the team. For example, right now NJ Devils tickets go for about $25 depending on the seats. It would be fun to go see a game with a date, get into the atmosphere, and enjoy the game together even if the team is not on a winning streak. Your date will also think you’re very thoughtful. But make sure they like the team first! It is all about communication. The first date will be more successful if both people agree on the first date spot.
4. Bowling- Bowling is an awesome idea because when trying something new together and having an activity in front of you there is a lot of opportunity for fun, enjoyment and laughs. Bowling is also not too expensive. It can get loud in bowling alleys, but there is also the personal feel of having just the two of you to the lane. Bowling is one of my favorite first date spots. Just make sure not to get overly competitive.
5. Ice skating- If you’re at all balanced or athletic, this could be a fun activity. A lot of people find they enjoy themselves more when they’re doing something active, so this would be a great choice for anyone like that. You can have a conversation while ice skating, but at the same time skating in silence isn’t a bad thing; your mind will be preoccupied. Just make sure, as with any date, that the other person is comfortable with the arrangement.
6. Mini golf- this is also seasonal, and along the same lines at bowling. It is fun to have an activity to do together, and this is also a great group date.
7. Carnival/boardwalk- Although this is seasonal and varies by location, if there is a carnival in town it is a great idea to bring a date to one. It is a fun spot to just walk around, enjoy the atmosphere, get food, and go on rides. The boardwalk is the same scenario. It gives the chance to play games with each other, stroll alongside the beach, enjoy the weather, etc.

Let me know if you have any suggestions for great first dates! And good luck!

7 Rules for a successful first date

1.    Be Open. Don’t go into the date thinking about what other people think about your date. Don’t judge the person you’re going on a date with, and go into the date completely open-minded. You will block yourself off from the person and waste your time if you don’t give the person a chance!

2.     Be yourself. This is the most important rule in my opinion. If you try to be someone you’re not to get someone to like you, it most likely will not work. They would have liked the real you better, because you’re probably not great at playing a different role. Even if this does work and they like the way you are acting, they do not like the real you. If the relationship advances, how can you have security in the relationship? How could the relationship grow and prosper when you cannot be yourself, and the person your partner has come to like is not actually you? This will lead to heartbreak and discomfort- so just be yourself! The person who will like you and come to love you will start out liking the REAL YOU! If you don’t believe me, rent a copy of “The Ugly Truth,” the movie with Katherine Heigl. That is all the support I need for this rule!

3.     Don’t be offensive- Use manners and etiquette. Being yourself goes pretty far on the first date- but in one way I would say holding back a little bit is a good thing. If you tend to curse often or make offensive comments, try to hold back as much as you can and use manners on the first date. You want to make a good first impression and be a gentleman or a kind lady. Hold the door for your partner, don’t chew with your mouth open, put the napkin on your lap while at a restaurant, etc.

4.     Ask questions, be interested. Ask your date questions, and act interested in the responses. Try to find out more about the person without being pressing. Show them that you care about what they have to say, and they will most likely share stories with you. This may make you more comfortable sharing your own stories.

5.     Don’t mention “exes” or baggage. If you had a serious ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, do not talk about memories, grudges, or anything else. First dates are not a good time to bring that up! Also, if you have any baggage that could deter a date, do not bring it up on the first date. A first date is not a time to bring up deep secrets or unearth intense grudges.

6.     Give your date a chance to speak. Make sure that you’re not going on and on talking about something and never giving your partner a turn to speak. Sometimes a moment of silence is not bad, and your date may need that moment to muster up the courage to talk back.

7.    Don’t make unwanted sexual advances. Even if you think a date is going really well, do not make a sexual advance unless the date makes it obvious that that is what he/she wants. Just because they do not make any advance, it does not mean they’re not interested in a second date. Making an unwanted advance can ruin an otherwise really good date.
Good luck! 

Lost in the world of dating? You're not alone

Hi everyone! I’ll start this blog off by saying that I love relationships. I love hearing about others’ relationships, giving advice about relationships, talking about my own relationship, etc. I hope that this blog can help men and women through many stages of a relationship. 

I collect Cosmo and SELF magazine articles and treat them like a holy grail. They give relationship advice and dating tips and I enjoy applying them to my own life. The different stages of a relationship are intriguing and vary greatly, but certain advice can be applied across many different relationships and among many different kinds of people.

I am now in a two-year relationship, and I have faced many challenges along the way. My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship at this time because our colleges are 7 hours apart. So many times I’ve felt like I’ve come to a wall, not knowing where to turn because of lack of experience. I’m going to try to make your life a little bit easier by using advice from my own experiences to get past roadblocks that can cause a relationship to fall apart prematurely.

Some of the topics I will cover are best first dates I have ever been on, best dates to keep a long-term relationship fresh, long-distance relationship tips, ways to resolve fights, best gifts to give at each stage in a relationship, etc. I will draw on my own personal experience and look back on mistakes I have made, how these mistakes could have been confronted, etc.    

           Hope I can help your love life prosper, no matter what stage of a relationship you are in!