The Commitment Dilemma- Readers, Help!

This is probably one of my favorite blog entries so far. A close friend wrote this for my blog, seeking advice from readers. Comment and let her know what you think!

The commitment dilemma

By Anonymous

                  I can’t remember a Lehigh before him.

                  It all started on a Saturday night last year in March while walking into our dormitory. There was some chit chat (we’d met before), some flirting, but ultimately a beginning. He wanted to come back to my room with me, so I let him. When it progressed too quickly, I told him to leave. And yet, I still wanted to see him again.

                  There were some issues. He had a girlfriend. I was “talking” to someone. But we made it work. He came over a few times before he ultimately felt guilty about cheating on his girlfriend (who I’d suspected was doing the same to him, anyway). I assume that for a while, I saw him more than she did. I’m assuming he just felt guilt and no longer had feelings for her at that point, because it seemed he was distancing himself. And then summer came along.

                  And so did the fall. For the first few months of school, he came over pretty often, but we still hid it from most people (and still do). Our thought is that the more who know, the more complicated it becomes. I think most people would respect that. Besides, it makes it feel like this taboo secret between him and me.

                  It’s been pretty on and off since then, but I’d say more on than off. There are some weeks where I’ve deleted his number, pledging to never go back to it all. Some weeks he becomes an addiction. And some weeks he does the same to me. He won’t call or he’s dying to come over. He’ll say he’s done, but he always comes back.

                  Now there’s the most recent episode of attempting to end it and coming right back.  I invited him out with me. Prior to going out, he told me he didn’t want to hook up anymore. A few hours pass and not only is he back to how things used to be after a night of trying to hold my hand and putting his arm around me, but he wants to sleep over … and he never sleeps over.

                  I’d be the world’s biggest liar if I said feelings weren’t involved. In fact, my feelings are what are keeping me going at this point. We’ve been at it for a year now, and I don’t think I’ve ever had stronger feelings for anyone else. You might think he feels the same based on what you’ve read, but his words read differently from his actions. He won’t commit. He won’t quit, either. It looks like he wants the best of both worlds.

                  So, readers, is it worth sticking by him? Is there a future there? Or maybe I should take the advice of some close friends and search for something better, which anyone and everyone deserve. But you can’t ignore feelings – that’s for sure.