I feel I have a little bit of experience on this topic. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now, and I know that our relationship dynamic has changed a lot since the beginning. Also, my relationship with my ex-boyfriend had a very different set of rules.
I would say that my relationship with my ex-boyfriend almost had no rules other than moral obligations. In the beginning, I got away with a lot because I did not take things so seriously. I found pictures of myself getting a piggyback ride from a boy friend when I was dating my last boyfriend. I found comments that probably weren't so appropriate for someone with a boyfriend to be saying. But at the time, my relationship was not serious and I did not take it that way. I did what I wanted to do without taking his feelings so much into consideration, and I also would not have minded if he did the same to me.
http://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/fosterparents/training/images/ru6a.gif However, when I got into a more serious relationship with my boyfriend now, the rules completely changed, and I wanted them to. I realized that I would feel hurt if I saw a picture of him giving a random girl a piggyback ride. I probably wouldn't feel comfortable with him making the exact same comments I made to people while with my ex-boyfriend to other girls. So I molded my actions appropriately.
On one hand, I can drive myself crazy asking myself: would I be upset if I saw him doing this? Would I want to see him doing this exact same thing that I'm doing right now? Being considerate is one thing, but overanalyzing is another. I have figured out that being honorable and considerate is how I should act in my relationship. I treat him the way I feel that I want to be treated without overanalyzing every action. At the same time, I have to live my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment